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just a queer human trying to break down body and sex taboos


The lack of education on the functions of AFAB (assigned female at birth) bodies failed me. I have felt ashamed, stigmatised and embarrassed of my body for most of my adolescent and adult life. I spent years thinking my genitals were abnormal for the labia minora extended past the labia majora. I spent my whole adolescence confused, embarrassed and anxious about the white substance that would appear in my pants pretty much every day. When it came to sexual pleasure, I didn’t just feel disappointed I couldn’t reach orgasm, I felt deeply ashamed.


The appearance of my vulva, the vaginal discharge and my experience of anorgasmia are not conditions I should have ever been made to feel ashamed or anxious about. In fact, it is normal for the labia minora to extend past the labia majora (Enright, 2019). Discharge is a normal function of the vagina’s self-cleaning process. And anorgasmia is experienced by an estimated 5-10% of AFAB people (Enright, 2019). I was not alone in my experiences, my body was not wrong, but the cultural context in which these conditions co-existed left me stigmatised.

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